Discordianism

How to begin a page on Discordianism? I suppose it helps to be a Discordian, and probably the ability to ramble would help, so...

...tis an ill wind that blows no minds. Talking to Goddess the other day, she told me the story of the unhappy ninja, which should be most instructive as a metaphor on Discordianism. Once upon a time there was a unhappy ninja. He had all the things that a ninja could ask for, throwing stars, smoke bombs, black clothes, the works. But he was unhappy with his bounty of ninja toys. Then one day, on his way to kill a Lord who had one too many liasons with anothers wife, a shining golden woman appeared before him. He immediately jumped from his horse and fell to his knees, which I imagine hurt badly. He asked the shining being, "Are you a god?"

"No", replied the luminous figure.

"Are you a prophet?", he asked again.

"No", replied the radiant figure.

"Are you a spirit of my ancestors?"

"No", she replied again.

"Are you a Buddha?", he replied, nearly perplexed.

"No dip wad, I'm a goddess."

"But I asked you already if you were a god", he replied, now upset.

"And I replied no, last I checked, like this morning, I was still a female." And lo the ninja was enlightened, yoink!

Discordianism is a pseudoreligion that finds foundation in not being a religion. It does not hold any particular beliefs and basically can be treated as a joke. Comments and works contributed by discordiands are bordering to be absurd but that is the very purpose and core of discordian philosophy: defiance, mockery and weird twisting of "traditional" and "reasonable" beliefs. Discordians maintain (as much as it can be related to discordians) that chaos and nonsense are as valid and precious as order and reality. Thus, discordiands conclude, the world is naturally a chaos and mess which they embrace.

Discordianism came to being from work of Malaclypse The Younger (Greg Hill) who wrote Principia Discordia. This author insists that Principia can not be understood unless you read it five times; and after reading it five times you will understand why the above statement makes no sense.

The common Discordian "traditions" are Catmas, hunting wild fnords, The Law of Fives and the Chao. Discordians "worship" the Greek goddess Eris. A typical example of discordian mentality would be well demonstrated by them often referring to Eris as "that bitch". In a similar manner, Principia Discordia prescribes that every discordian is an ordained pope ("A POPE is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities" - Principia Discordia) Amongst its other interesting quotations would be "Remember! King Kong died for your sins!" and "Prosecutors will be transgressicuted".

A Wikipedia article on Discordianism provides a lot of interesting background reading.

The best way to learn a little about our State of Confusion is to read The Wholly Unremarkable Book.

See also: Church of the SubGenius