Eris

Eris was the goddess of night and Chaos. She was the daughter of Nyx, and was always at the side of Ares. Eris is usually pictured as old and ugly, wearing rags.

Correspondences

• Eris is Discord in the Roman pantheon

The Golden Apple

Eris was always at the side of Ares. That is, except one fateful night at a wedding reception she wasn't invited to. So she fashioned a golden apple with the word "Kallisti" (KAΛΛIΣTI) on it and rolled it into the ceremony room. Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, all reading Kallisti as "to the prettiest", immediatley began to argue over who had the rights to the apple.

Zeus, to end the noise of their fat-headed bickering, decided to let a mortal decide who the prettiest was. He chose Paris. Athena offered him military victories. Hera offered him wealth. Aphrodite offered him the most beautiful women in the world. Naturally, he thought with his dick. Unfortunately for just about everyone in the world at that time, Helen already had a husband, and Paris going off with her caused a little thing called the Trojan war, which was a conflict between humans and of no interest here.

Goddess of Discordianism

These days Eris has found new employment as Eris Discordia, the goddess of the Discordians, who found enlightenment after Hermes, also known by the discordians as Saint Gulick, opened their pineal glands with his herald's staff, known by the Discordians as "some crazy drugs". Preferring passive activism these days to the more militant stance she previously took, Eris directs OM via the pineal glands of all Discordians. OM is operation mindfuck, which appears to be chaos but is actually well planned chaos. fnord