Ritual:Omnissiah Blessing

This is a ritual designed to help those who find technology inexplicably breaking around them more often than others. I was inspired to write it by this video. It uses the ontological framing device of the Omnissiah from Warhammer 40K treating the practitioner unfavorably. I don't know WH40K lore very well but was able to cobble this together from quotes of rites in-universe.

Materials

• A machine which has been unusually faithful to you
• A (ideally non-permanent) way to write on this machine
• (optional) A way to draw blood, like a sterilized pin. Enough to drip on its own

Procedure

Symbol of the Omnissiah

First, shower and imagine the rot of flesh being cleaned before the Machine God. This serves as a rudimentary banishment.

Find an open and clean space, preferably surrounded by technology, to serve as your ritual area. Place the machine in front of you and meditate for 15 minutes to get into a nice trance, imagining a circle around you to designate the ritual area. When you feel ready, recite:

The soul of the Machine God surrounds thee.
The power of the Machine God invests thee.
The hate of the Machine God drives thee.
The Machine God endows thee with life.
Live!

At this point, turn the machine on.

Say: "As the rune of protection is inscribed upon you so may the litanies of protection ward your soul." while drawing the symbol of the Omnissiah, Phi surrounded by a Cog, onto the machine.

If you're ok with using blood, say "Holy Oils for the cogs of the Machine, Turn forever as is the will of the Omnissiah." and draw enough blood to drip on its own onto the machine.

Say: "Our enemies may rest but rust never sleeps. May my tools be guarded from malfunction." while imagining the "spirit" of the machine rising out and merging with you.

Now to close the ritual, say:

Thus do we invoke the Machine God.
Thus do we make whole that which was sundered.
May my soul be guarded from impurity.

To gain further favor, imagine machines as fellow beings, if less sentient, a bit like you might imagine an animal. And if anything malfunctions, recite a little prayer: "I invoke the Machine God that he may deliver us from Rust and guard my soul from impurity".