Experience:Time travel 17 times/log

This is an adapted G Talk chatlog from 2013 describing a bizarre experience a friend of mine had involving time travel. Note that I live in the US and he lives in India, hence some of the weird times. See /raw for the full log over 3 days, including a tangent about a potential form of magick (though still excluding personal tangents).

Later he decided to call the entire thing a "stress-induced hallucination."

The nickname "John" (for "John Titor") was used in place of his real name for privacy reasons.

1/23/2013

Time	User	Message
11:22 PM	John	Hey
11:40 PM	Me	Any successorz?
11:42 PM	John	Well, I've got something to tell.
11:42 PM	John	Something that'll fascinate you of most people because you're probably the one person on earth whom I know who won't take this as a fucking joke.
11:43 PM	John	So, umm are you free? This might take a while.
11:43 PM	Me	Yeah pretty free
11:44 PM	John	Ok
11:44 PM	John	So here's my first secret : My actual age is around 170
11:45 PM	Me	Well if you're talking astral body age, it should be a lot more than that...
11:45 PM	John	I've tried to change my past 16 times
11:45 PM	John	No, mental age.
11:45 PM	John	You see, going back in time doesn't negate all the years that you've lived so far.
11:46 PM	John	Although you do forget 90% of your life that you went back in.
11:46 PM	John	Your understanding of life remains quite same.
11:46 PM	Me	You actually got your time travel thing to work as you wanted? And backwards?
11:46 PM	John	Worse, I've been doing it since 170 years.
11:47 PM	John	My life's fucked up.
11:48 PM	John	Yesterday, I travelled back to when I was 15 and took an oath that I will never travel back in time again to change my past.
11:49 PM	Me	I'm confused, wouldn't that mean you were future-alt-reality-you for the past year or so?
11:49 PM	John	Well Idk. I have no clue.
11:50 PM	John	Because when I travel, I forget everything upto the point in my life whence I travelled back to.
11:50 PM	John	The only things you remember is the reason why you came back, and a few other things that were very important to you.
11:50 PM	John	Thing is, I've gone back 17 times and neither time did I remember how I travelled back.
11:51 PM	John	So each time I had to find how to travel again.
11:51 PM	John	I do remember that my age is around 170 and a few other things from my 17 changed lives.
11:52 PM	Me	But that sounds kind of hellish :/
11:53 PM	John	IT FUCKING IS.
11:53 PM	John	I still don't remember how I travelled before and anything else apart from a few details.
11:53 PM	John	But my life's screwed up.
11:53 PM	Me	If you do you'll try it again and make it 18
11:53 PM	John	Yes
11:54 PM	John	I'm not going to.
11:54 PM	John	But you don't get it. You can't play God man.
11:55 PM	John	My life has been portrayed in similar aspects in hundreds of movies.
11:55 PM	John	There's only one problem. My life isn't a fucking movie. THERE ISN'T A HAPPY ENDING.
11:56 PM	John	You know how in the movies, they go back to one point in the beginning of their lives and change that one detail and suddenly their lives are perfect again?
11:56 PM	John	That doesn't happen
11:56 PM	John	The more you go back, the more you fuck things up.
11:56 PM	John	I woke up yesterday and saw that I was back in high school. It sucks.
11:57 PM	Me	Oh, so you were a college student/adult when you time travelled?
11:57 PM	John	Yes
11:57 PM	Me	And this is the point you went back to each time
11:57 PM	John	Yes, I made sure that the mistake in my 16th time was avoided, but that was done by sacrificing a lot.
11:57 PM	John	Not each time, no. Just the 17th time. Which is right now.
11:58 PM	Me	You know I'll have to interview you like crazy later, right?
11:58 PM	John	I wouldn't mind.
11:58 PM	Me	This will undoubtedly yield phenomenal insights in the mechanics of time travel and parallel realities
11:58 PM	John	The more I keep repeating all the shit I've done, the better I might feel.
11:59 PM	Me	Is it uncontrollable, then?
11:59 PM	John	No.
11:59 PM	John	It's perfectly controllable.
12:00 AM	John	What I'm saying is that my life's so fucked up, that there's always this constant temptation of going back in time and changing things again and hope that things get better.
12:00 AM	John	Only, things get worse. That's a law.
12:00 AM	John	I have some skin allergy now and I swear I could comb my hair before.
12:01 AM	John	Not to mention what I had to sacrifice in order to get everything straight again.
12:01 AM	John	All I've managed to do is give myself temporary relief from all this shit.
12:02 AM	John	I wish it was easy to just forget things and move on.
12:02 AM	John	I'm a broken man. No, I'm not gonna suicide, but I couldn't care less that I was alive.
12:03 AM	John	So yeah, I guess it's good news for you. Time travel does indeed exist. If only I could tell you how.
12:04 AM	Me	I feel bad for exploiting the misery of another out of curiosity :/
12:04 AM	Me	I actually know a guy who has this theory that involves time quite a bit
12:04 AM	Me	Though I'm not sure how related it is to your situation, since his deals with physical travel
12:05 AM	John	Yes, there's another thing.
12:05 AM	John	The laws of time travel are different to each method.
12:05 AM	John	If you time travel, your experiences need not be similar to mine.
12:06 AM	John	Oh dear, I can feel the depression sinking in.
12:07 AM	Me	God damn it
12:07 AM	Me	From my perspective you just got over metaphysics related depression because of astral projection
12:08 AM	John	Well I never did AP after that failed attempt..
12:08 AM	Me	You mean the one with the astral blindness?
12:09 AM	John	Yeah

1/24/2013

Time	User	Message
8:03 PM	John	All I know is that by the method I used, you can't fuck with your past except to make things worse.
8:04 PM	Me	Do you remember why you came back this time?
8:05 PM	John	Yes.
8:05 PM	Me	What was it? :3
8:06 PM	John	I came back to tell my old girlfriend how not to fuck up.
8:07 PM	John	Which would also mean simultaneously making sure that we never have any more feelings for each other.
8:07 PM	John	Basically, I know that any form of mutual relationship will cause her to die again. Some way or the other.
8:08 PM	Me	How?
8:08 PM	John	Even if she doesn't die, something will screw up leaving me in complete misery.
8:09 PM	John	Well last time she died because she had an affair with Jason, who refused to take care of her child, so he kills the kid and then kills her.
8:09 PM	John	I remember being at the cremation.
8:09 PM	Me	So I guess that's what happens each and every time? After the funeral, you long to go back to change it
8:10 PM	John	No, for every time you change a detail, something else fucks up and the only way to compensate for it all is by making a sacrifice, which will hopefully put an end to this cycle.
8:11 PM	Me	What was the very first reason, then?
8:11 PM	John	My other girlfriend (the one I was crazy in love with and shit), dies of cancer.
8:12 PM	John	That happens sometimes around Feb or March 2012
8:12 PM	Me	Then you missed it S:I
8:12 PM	John	No no, I already changed all that remember
8:12 PM	Me	How do you change someone dying of cancer, anyway?
8:12 PM	John	And then 5 years later when I'm 20, I discover time travel.
8:13 PM	John	I'm getting to that
8:13 PM	John	So I get this nagging feeling that if I go back I can somehow change all of it. So I do go back and prevent a certain person from injecting w:carcinogen into her.
8:13 PM	Me	Wat >__>
8:13 PM	John	I don't remember who that person is. I don't remember what sort of cancer it induced. Nor how it was administered.
8:15 PM	John	But yeah, I avoided that. But she dies of an accident. So I try changing that again, and she dies again somehow.
8:15 PM	John	At this point I'm like L(OAOL)
8:16 PM	John	7th time, in saving her, I kill her myself.
8:16 PM	Me	This actually correlates to things fox has told me about time travel
8:16 PM	Me	Certain events are essentially predestined because of energies
8:17 PM	John	Well, I can attest for that :I
8:17 PM	Me	What? You just killed her?
8:17 PM	John	No, umm. The knife I threw, was supposed to kill the person who was going to kill her.
8:18 PM	John	But my aim pretty much sucked.
8:18 PM	Me	Knife... Is this related to your obsession with throwing knives?
8:18 PM	John	It... Might.... Be...
8:18 PM	Me	Well did you have it before?
8:18 PM	John	Not sure..
8:21 PM	John	So yeah, 8th time, I just tell myself "Fuck this shit, I'm gonna get over her"
8:21 PM	John	I go all the way back to 6th grade where I first spoke to her and made sure that we didn't speak
8:22 PM	John	And yeah, she didn't die after that. And thus I realized about the sacrifice. It only sucks that she's alive today and she doesn't even know who I am.
8:25 PM	Me	9th time was your ex?
8:26 PM	John	Well 9th time, I lived upto around 50. But without love, my life felt very empty.
8:27 PM	John	I know right now it sounds extremely stupid, but I went back again. Went to different high school and college and hoped that maybe a different girlfriend would solve the problem. Apparently not.
8:29 PM	John	The details are a bit hazy here, but I think she died in a dorm building collapse. She was the only one or something. So I go back and change it and around 300 people die instead in that collapse.
8:30 PM	Me	Wuh? How?
8:30 PM	John	Idk, but I think she was supposed to make sure that no one was at the building at that hour or something, and since I told her to gtfo of that building, she didn't tell anyone else to get out, and they all died.
8:32 PM	John	The next time's the most interesting. I go back and change all stop her and all those people in dying.
8:32 PM	Me	Wait WHAT? It actually worked? :O
8:32 PM	John	Buuuuuuutttt. I get crushed in the collapse instead. And guess what?
8:33 PM	John	I end up with no arms and legs.
8:33 PM	Me	Oh god...
8:33 PM	John	Yeah... I never suffered from limb loss before. I found the occasion quite humorous.
8:34 PM	John	Except when I tried to kill myself, but I spilled the poison all over myself because I didn't have arms. So I couldn't even fucking kill myself.
8:35 PM	Me	You used your mouth..?
8:35 PM	John	I don't remember.
8:35 PM	John	Honestly. Nothing sucks more than trying to die but failing, because that's a feeling you'll always remember.
8:36 PM	Me	How'd you discover time travel that time?
8:36 PM	John	No clue. None at all. But apparently, I did find out.
8:38 PM	John	The next 5 more times, I was totally determined to cheat fate. You know those paranoid people who lock themselves up in a room and try to protect themselves in all kinds of ways possible?
8:39 PM	John	That was me. Except shit kept happening. Until the 17th time I gave up and realized that shit will just get worse and promised that I will never go back again.
8:40 PM	Me	Well that's good
8:40 PM	John	Yup, I think I've fought for love enough. Now I'm just tired and I want a quiet life..
8:44 PM	Me	When you go back to a younger body, do you maintain the same maturity, or does the new brain take over?
8:45 PM	John	You go back to being as mature as you were in that age. I've got emotional scars aging to about 170 years. But I can interpret them only from a 15 year old's perspective.
...
8:51 PM	Me	Are you faster at learning all this stuff since you've done it so many times before?
8:51 PM	John	Time travel or psychic in general?
8:51 PM	Me	Well, everything really. Biology, math, psychic, etc
8:51 PM	John	Oh... No, not at all. Which is all the more why I emphasized on my ex how much it sucked to be at highschool again learning all this stuff.
8:53 PM	John	I mean, I don't remember learning it, so it's all pretty much new to me anyway. But the fact that you've done it anyway is disappointing.
8:54 PM	Me	You told your ex about all this?
8:54 PM	John	For all I know, my 50 year old self could have accomplished formulating a lifetime of a mouth watering philosophies that I would only dream of writing about.
8:54 PM	John	And now, I'll have to do it all over again.
8:54 PM	John	And yes, I did. I think she believed it. But even if she didn't, she didn't tell it to me. All the same, I made her promise out straight not to go out with some ass like Jason.
8:56 PM	John	It sounded like the right thing to do.
8:56 PM	Me	How did they get together before?
8:57 PM	John	You know how girls these days have a knack of falling for these jerks with the upside down hat and bare chests with gold chains and stupid calf muscles poking out underneath their shorts?
8:57 PM	John	Yeah, that's Jason.
8:59 PM	Me	>yfw she hooks up with him because you warned her not to
8:59 PM	John	Then I won't feel sorry for her when she dies.
8:59 PM	John	From the 17th time, my life is about ME. Not her.
9:00 PM	Me	That's good
9:00 PM	John	Either way, nothing can hurt my conscience anymore.